Tag: coaching

Sacred Wound

On By samuelcollierIn Coaching, Empowerment6 Comments

Once upon a time there was a child of God named Baby, and when he was born he separated from God. And when he separated from God, he forgot he was a child of God and a wound formed in his soul like a small hole and that wound was sacred…

And the world was a beautiful place and had many wonderful beautiful things to share with Baby. And at the same time, it was a messed up place and many horrible messed up things happened to Baby in the beautiful messed up world.

And Baby’s parents loved him, but they were messed up too. And they tried to love Baby by filling his hole with only beautiful things. And they tried to protect Baby from all the messed up things- and though they had the best intentions, they had holes too and they sometimes hurt Baby, and that made Baby’s hole feel bigger.

As Baby got older he learned to fill his own hole. And when he went to school, all the teachers were messed up too. And baby learned to fill his hole by playing with the other children, but all the other children had holes just like Baby.  And some of them loved Baby and helped him fill his hole. And some of them were mean to Baby and that made his hole feel bigger.

And that’s how Baby grew up in the beautiful messed up world. All along the way Baby tried to love the messed up people.  And sometimes when he loved them, he hurt them- even when he didn’t mean to…And sometimes when they loved him back they hurt Baby- even when they didn’t mean to. And that made his hole feel even bigger.

And finally when baby became an adult that’s when he realized something was messed up about the beautiful messed up world…and inside of him there was this huge hole he was carrying around his whole life that he was always trying to fill….and that’s when baby decided he must be messed up because he had this huge messed up hole…and that’s when he decided he was just another messed up person in the beautiful messed up world…and that made Baby’s hole feel even bigger.

….So then he looked back on his life searching back in the past for the bottom of the hole- and whatever caused him to be so messed up- so he could finally figure out how to fill it once and for all….

And in his past he found all the angry faces of all the messed up people and that reminded him of all the horrible messed up things that happened to him- so he blamed them. He even blamed his parents when he knew deep down that they had loved him and had tried their best- but they too had hurt Baby without even meaning to- and blaming them made his hole feel even bigger.

…And baby kept on searching for a cause and blaming them all until he felt even worse, and no matter how angry he got he could not change what they had done. And no matter what he still could not find an answer for how to fill this enormous messed up hole….

And sometimes Baby’s hole felt so huge that he felt despondent. And he even blamed God for making the world such a messed up place that it would hurt Baby- and he finally said “Why hath thou forsaken me?” And God having been forgotten all this time gave no response. And that’s when Baby realized he was truly alone and he became very dark.

…And he grew so dark that he began to rage and the rage tore him so deeply that the hole became bottomless, and finally Baby felt so exhausted from trying to fill his bottomless hole that he gave up and fell in….

…And Baby fell so far and fast through that bottomless hole that he was overwhelmed. And along the way he blamed once again all the angry faces of all the messed up people that had hurt him throughout the years. And he was so overwhelmed by despair that he finally surrendered….

…And when he surrendered he saw how he was falling through the past inside the hole and that it had no power over him any more, and that’s the first time Baby felt acceptance…

…And when he fully accepted that he could not change anything about the hole, that’s when baby came out the other side…

And Baby sat on the edge of the hole gazing back at all the faces of all the messed up people that had hurt him, and he finally saw how they were trying to fill their own holes too. And then he looked past all the faces, all the way back to the top of the hole and that’s where he saw the shining eyes of Baby staring back at him…

And then Baby remembered God and how he was once connected to God and that’s how Baby felt his Sacred Wound. And then Baby looked once again at all the beautiful faces of all the messed up people and he said “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” And that’s when Baby felt compassion.

And when Baby fully forgave them he clearly saw himself for the first time and that’s when he realized the hole was a mirror. And when he looked into the mirror he saw a beautiful person no longer messed up anymore, and Baby fully loved himself for the first time. And finally recognizing himself in the mirror he remembered he was a child of God and then Baby felt bliss…

…And what was once a Sacred Wound, had now became a Well of Bliss, and for the first time Baby felt whole.

…And what was once a bottomless hole had now become a mirror, and finally Baby had become fully human.

…And anytime thereafter Baby forgot he was a child of God, he sought out the well inside the hole, and was filled with bliss once again.

And Baby finally decided he was a beautiful person in a beautiful messed up world and that everything was perfect just the way it was. And Baby took his mirror and went forth to show the other beautiful faces how they were beautiful too…

Vulnerable = Invincible

On By samuelcollierIn Coaching1 Comment

I was feeling inspired today conversing with my fellow coach April Hirschman….

We were discussing the idea of empowerment coaching and what kind of people would be looking for that.  I thought it sort of funny that I want to do empowerment coaching, and that I also want to coach executives and other influential people who already have power.  Then it dawned on me:

Power = Intimacy

Think about it.  What would someone in power want?  Most likely the complimentary opposite of power, which is intimacy. I will explain how this works in a minute.  First, think about how it feels to be a person in power by standing in their shoes….

There are various types of people who have power in society whether in business, politics, or simple fame and fortune such as celebrities.  We both fear and are attracted to people in power in different ways.  We sometimes condemn for how they abuse it and we sometimes covet it for ourselves.

Really there are much fewer rich and famous people than the rest of us.  How would it make you feel to be worshiped and feared?  Do you think you’d have as many trustworthy close friends as you do now?  People in power get used on an intimate level because other people want something from them.  Makes it hard to trust people don’t you think!

I use to mistrust and even resent people with more power or success than me.  Now I choose to feel compassion and see it from their perspective.It gets lonely at the top, as the old saying goes and often those with power will want Relationship and Intimacy Coaching to try to heal this aspect of their lives.  That may very well be me!

There is a phenomenal connection between power and intimacy.  Think of your most powerful moments.  For me it is the times I’ve spoken or performed on stage in front of hundreds of people.  These powerful experiences have also been the most vulnerable; where I’ve felt the most vulnerable, scrutinized, and exposed.  Being on stage is a raw moment.  It is both powerful and intimate.

Now think of the most intimate experiences.  The times you’ve laughed, cried or opened your heart to a friend.  Your first time having sex with your greatest lover.  How powerful and electrifying and intense were those moments of vulnerability?

Power and vulnerability walk hand in hand.  You cannot be powerful without also being vulnerable and you cannot be vulnerable without being powerful.
There is no separation and really they are the same thing.  Power = Intimacy.    Therefore, being vulnerable is a powerful act, and powerful acts also have a vulnerable side to them.

Further, your greatest fear is a source of power, all your insecurities can be transformed into strengths, and all your wounds and emotional baggage are the greatest tools to heal and inspire change in the world. Admitting that you have needs and being vulnerable is part of being a complete human being.  That means acknowledging and expressing our emotions and needs at all times to all people and in all situations is the ideal.

Lastly, the way to achieve invincibility is to face your fear.  Gently dancing at the edge of fears is the greatest source of personal transformation available and you can inspire no greater sense of awe in another than human being by demonstrating your raw, deeply authentic and vulnerable self.

In conclusion, the smallest person can wield the greatest power in this world- take this to heart my friends and be true to yourself because you can create the vision you want in your life.  And together, no matter how weak and distraught we feel at times, our small acts of courage can transform our reality.