“There are no mistakes in life, only opportunities.  Everything happens for a reason.”

This has been the reframe that I have followed these past month as I observe and reflect upon my own life.  It is also one of the Foundation Principles at iPEC.  It wasn’t new news to me when I re-learned it, though now I am actually putting to work in my own life and my coaching methodology.

In life, sometimes, there is pain.  And with that pain being “pain-full,” it is easy to look at whatever action or choice that put us into that situation as a “mistake.”  What if instead we can look at that resulting pain as an opportunity…an opportunity for what?  An opportunity to grow, transform, and learn from our actions and how we contributed directly or indirectly to that situation.  An opportunity to own our reality and transform that pain into power; to make us stronger and more effective at creating the positive results we want in the world.

In that way, pain is actually a “blessing!”  It is a sign or guidepost to point us in the direction of “true self,” or choices that are in alignment with our highest good.  If it feels good, do it.  That is the type of choices I want to make in my life.  All pain then is simply a sign we are falling out of alignment  with our highest good.  It is the result of choices that brought us to pain; it is the result of choices that will bring us out.

My Peer Coach Tracie Devlin helped me remember this the other day.  When I was lamenting over the loss of love and pain of rejection, she asked me “How is this rejection a blessing?”  I realized I was holding on and still being the victim, when in fact I was settling for less and not really being fulfilled by the relationship.  If anything I had been victimizing myself.

The key lesson from that experience: self-acceptance.  This is who I am.  This is where I am at.  This is how I feel today.  I accept that.  Take  responsibility and own my present situation, only then can I move forward.  What a relief to have that power of choice back!  So now it’s “if it feels good do it.  If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.”

…so there you have it!  First entry from your Authentic Coach, your friend in the trenches of life.  I too can bleed and I’m in the process too!

Much love